Engrish Brog - Vol. 1:2

Well, this was to be posted last night with the other one but blogger was being stupid and not letting me upload pictures.

A few weeks ago I was in the mall and passed a shop selling sleeping mats with pictures of VW Beetles and the words "Bettle Bug" all over it. -- Nice!!

Just two days ago I saw a truck pull up to the school to pick up a student with the following painted on the side: "Anun Bakkery." I should write ads for these people -- Anun Bakkery, for all your bakking needs. Bakked goods . . . mmmm.

This is one of my favorites because it's one of those "What the . . . ?"


The front text reads: "Palliates." The back reads: "Relese the tension and welcome palliates of your new life style." That's right folks, welcome palliates into your life and I'm sure things will start looking up.


No caption necessary.

Tasto brand: RIDGE CUT POTATO CHIP NATURE IDENTICAL BARBEQUE FLAVOR. It tastes like all the natural barbeque I've ever found. It's just like the sap from the old barbeque trees back home.

This next one is also great. I bought a pair of dress slacks at the department store the other day. It was really inexpensive so I'm not expecting them to last long. Anyway, the makers of these slacks go to great lengths to try to make them look like they are imported from Italy. In fact sewn on the inside of the belt is "Emponi Givanno." Here is the tag on the inside - Commposition (Italians can mispell words in English), Viscose Kayon (Rayon?), and lastly I'm sure that Italians frequently mispell Italy - Itrly. I spell America wrong all the time.


No caption necessary.


One of the best things about this is where it comes from: The 7-11 catalog. That's right everyone, 7-11 puts out a catalog. It's actually quite good with reasonable prices. In fact, we just ordered a toaster and some glass bowls from the catalog. You don't have to pay shipping because you just pick it up at 7-11 in 3-5 days. Our town seems like it has 20 7-11 stores. Anyway this is a fan cover to give your fan that extra something. Actually it's to prevent your child from getting their fingers chopped off. The design for this one is "Baby Bare." Naked babies are kind of cute but who wants fifty of them on their fan cover.

Another one without a picture. I bought a pen that was actually made in Korea. It has a picture of a dog and has printed: "THE DOGS" and below that: "Artllst Collectlon." The back has the following: "Shih Tuz." That's my favorite kind of dog. I've always wanted a shih tuz.

Engrish Vol. 1:1

First, I want to preface this post with a few things. First, there is another new post just below this one so check it out. Second, as those of you who have been to Asia before (Joel and Amelia) can attest, Engrish is EVERYWHERE. I'm really bad at carrying my camera around with me so some of these are just some that I can remember and I don't have pictures. Also, the malls and some stores don't allow cameras so that cuts down on a lot of great Engrish pics. Anyway, here is some Engrish for your enjoy. Some are better than others. Also, the formatting is kind of jacked up so forgive me for that.


This is a toothpaste tube -- "squeezy mint." Forget spearmint, wintergreen and cool burst, I want some squeezy mint.





This looks like your average plate, right? Check out the back. If you can't read it: "Scotch: Essence of Chicken." I like my dinnerware with essence of chicken, doesn't everyone?
















Whiz: it's the only thing I use on the wwindows in my housee. Keepss the dustt off for monthss.

-- No Title Entered --

So, what's new . . . we're just hanging in there. Sometimes, just barely, but it's going all right. This past Monday the three of us had to go up to Udorn Thani (an hour north) with Kristen's boss to get Kristen and Trea's visas extended. It was a pretty decent excursion all things considered -- a toddler and a morning sick woman. Actually Trea was really good and Kristen only felt really sick a few times. Luckily we didn't have any trouble with the red tape either. I hear that the guy at the office there likes to show how much power he holds and is a pain sometimes. I think he just wanted to get Trea out of there as quickly as possible.

Well, Kristen had about five days where she felt really good and has since been sick again but hey, at least she isn't throwing up! She does say that she feels better than before even though she doesn't feel great. So, as a result of her condition and me taking care of Trea and not having any time to get any cleaning around the house done we've got a maid coming over two days a week. She's actually working for Jick (Kristen's boss) who lives two houses away from us four days a week and comes to our place on Mon. and Thur. She actually does our laundry too - with the machines down the street. Of course we provide soap and coins. We're paying 170 baht a day which is about $4.55. I almost feel guilty that it's so little but it's a pretty reasonable rate and people here are always willing to take jobs like that (showing how poor a lot of people here are). Also, she's said that cleaning our place is really easy.

Trea is doing really good. Just two days ago I was on gate duty at the school (help see students off) and stopped by to see Trea at the nursery for a moment. She told me to get out (in Thai). Okay. She knows her numbers 1-10 in both English and Thai. She knows a lot of nursery words in Thai - sit down, let's go, eat, no, go to sleep, drink milk. It's funny because when she wants milk she asks in Thai almost exclusively.

For those of you who haven't heard we are coming home for Christmas. I can't wait to see what Trea's like. She's going to be like, "hey, where did all those different people go? Nobody's speaking that funny language." "Where's my adoring audience?" Then she's going to get used to hearing only English and then we'll get back to Thailand. I know it's kind of cruel but I think it's going to be kind of funny.

Semester break is coming up in less than a month. I'm so excited. I just need some down time. Hopefully, we'll be able to get out and see some of Thailand or at least the northeast. It kind of depends on how Kristen is feeling. If she's not feeling good that's okay too. As I said, I just need some down time.

Hopefully, I will get the first edition of the Engrish Post out soon.

What's in a Name Anyway?

So, I now realize that my readership went from maybe five people down to one but hey I don't know what I expected when I take such long breaks between posts. It's Sunday morning and I should be getting ready for church but I was laid out yesterday by something I ate (I think it was school lunch on Friday) and am still not quite up to going to church. I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible for all of us to be healthy at the same time.

Anyway, I've been meaning to post about student names since I got here and just haven't gotten around to it until now. Nearly everyone has a nickname that they go by in their classes and it's a good thing too because when you've got names that are 30 letters long . . . For example, look at some of these names:

Passawalee Seearamroongruang
Kuntida Chokboonsongsawat
Chuanfachom Navabunniyom

And these are just a couple in one of my classes. Anyway, I really get a kick out of the nicknames that they give their kids here. It's quite funny to a native English speaker. You have to keep in mind that some of these names are nicknames in Thai and they just romanize it into English and you end up with something like "Earn." I'm only going to list the funny and interesting ones.

Noon
Bonus
Plug
Ice
View
Oak
Dragon (Oh wait, that's not a nickname -- that's a real name!)
Earn
Simba
Turbo
Proud
Pee - Pee
Bank
It
Gift
Need
Big
Peach
Benz
Future
Fifa
Dear
Net
Bell
Flash
Arm
Mink
Dream
Alpha
Earth
Pop
Opal
Japan
Title
Donut

One of the other teachers was joking with me the other day. He asked if we have a boy if we're going to give him a Thai nickname. He said that he jokes with other teachers that they're like American Gladiator names -- Turbo, Flash, Bonus, etc. I like Nitro. So, if it's a boy, he'll have an American name but you can just call him "Nitro."

My Life is Run by a Toddler

It's been over a month since my last post and this month has been an interesting one to say the least. Well, with so much happening, where do I begin? Hmm . . . how about with the fact that we're going to have another baby! After being late and feeling lousy for a while Kristen thought she might be pregnant and so took a pregnancy test. The test was negative. When taking Trea to see the doctor she asked about it and he said that it's probably just hormones (new environment, stress, etc.). About a week later she wanted to check again so we got yet another pregnancy test (this time the $5 imported from the US model instead of the $1.25 one). This too, had negative results. By this point Kristen is really starting to feel lousy (similar to her morning sickness with Chantrea) and is pretty sure that she's pregnant regardless of the what the tests say. In fact, she asked her mom to send her some medications for morning sickness the before we got a positive test. Anyway, we are excited. Giving birth in a foreign country will be an interesting experience but I know that if anyone can do it Kristen can. I'm really hoping that it's a boy.

I think our house has kind of been the sick ward for the last month. We all had a real nasty cold about five weeks ago. Then nearly two weeks ago Kristen gets throwing up and can't stop and has to go the hospital and get an IV. She spent the night. I did all right with Trea. The next day I start getting a really bad toothache in a tooth that had had a root canal two years ago. Anyway, the toothache was so bad that it kept me up half of the night. This on top of Trea fighting us to go to sleep for two hours. Her sleeping habits went out the window when we all got sick and Kristen and I didn't have the energy to fight her and just let her sleep with us -- BIG MISTAKE. Anyway, after a lot of hassle trying to find a place that can get me in and will actually do something while I'm in pain (apparently it's pretty common practice for dentists to give you an antibiotic and say they can't do anything until the pain goes away) I just get the dang thing pulled for a grand total of $12 (with five days of painkillers and antibiotics). Another root canal would've been about $200 plus another $100 for a new crown and the doctor said that the outcome is questionable so I just went for the extraction. That was a really bad week for us. Kristen was ready to go home. She said she would have if she wasn't so sick and could've handled the flight.

So, when Kristen and Trea first arrived Trea was really attached to both of us but particularly Kristen. Anytime Kristen left the room she would cry. I understood why. Daddy had left for six weeks and now Grandma and Grandpa were gone and Mommy was the constant in her life and she didn't want to lose her mom. Anyway, this lasted for about three weeks or so and then she really started getting back to normal and would be okay if we left the room. About two weeks ago she decided that Daddy is the coolest and now she won't let me go anywhere without being at my side or crying. It's kind of flattering for about two days and then it starts driving you crazy. I know it's aweful to talk about your child like this but lately she's like a leech. Weekends aren't a break. It's hard to get anything done. If I'm doing something she doesn't want me to do (typing on the computer, reading, giving attention to Kristen, or anything other than giving her my undivided attention) she fusses. I realize that a lot of this is typical toddler behavior but I'm just venting that I'm going crazy here. Kristen isn't able to help due to being sick but I honestly believe that even if she wasn't Trea wouldn't give me a break.

School is going all right. I had my first parent-teacher conference last month. It was all right I guess. I feel like I'm making progress as far as what I'm doing. I feel like I have a better idea of what I want to teach, how I want to teach it, etc. If only the kid would give me some time to prepare. I've got four kids in fourth grade who are always getting in trouble and getting detentions. I'm getting pretty sick of it but I'm not sure what I should do.

Chantrea has pretty much fully adjusted to nursery. She doesn't cry at all when I drop her off. In fact, she seems somewhat excited to be there. She knows all her teachers names and I'm told the names of all her classmates. She's picking up a lot of Thai. It's so cute to hear her speak Thai. She's really good at wai-ing (putting your palms together in front of you) and all the locals eat it up when she wais.

Hopefully my next post will be more exciting and less whining.

PS -- Anyone reading this who wants to talk: we got our webcam hooked up and a microphone so we can now talk on the internet (Yahoo MSGR with voice or Windows MSGR). The quality is about the same or better than the intl. phone calls and much cheaper.